Photo credit: BigStockPhoto/CHEUNG HIU TUNG
by Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
“I think I’ll move to Australia!”
Like Alexander in the classic children’s story, the day of the U.S. election results, I (along with family) contemplated moving to Australia. But, since moving isn’t feasible, I’ve designed my self-care plan for these terrible, horrible, no good, very bad (THNGVB) days.
Political engagement is part of my self-care. For months leading up to the election, I dedicated countless hours volunteering. With election losses up and down ticket, I felt deflated and disgusted…and terrified, personally. Professionally, grounded in social work’s core ethics and aims, I’m deeply concerned about impending policies and actions of the incoming administration. Oppressive forces want us defeated and disengaged. Instead, I’m staying committed, which requires prioritizing self-care.
You may be in a different space or place than I am. Remember, self-care is individualized; you must develop your plan. However, my plan can inform yours. Also, I’ve been doing this self-care thing awhile—including during some pretty THNGVB times. Hopefully, my plan can help you avoid pitfalls and access resources for perilous times. (See embedded links.)
Self-Care for THNGVB Days—Focus on What I Can Impact
List-making is one of my self-care strategies. It helps with focus, which is calming. Post-election day, my morning to-do list consisted of items like “fold laundry.” Upon reflection, I went back and added “get out of bed.” That was my biggest accomplishment of the day.
The ongoing onslaught of THNGVB stuff will be overwhelming at times. I’m keeping a list of practical steps that help with a sense of agency. It includes things like make medical appointments and identify local businesses to support.
In elevated crisis times, intentionally slow down. Sometimes, doing nothing is necessary. Mindfulness and Minding our P’s & Q’s are two self-care approaches for these times.
Get Back on Track With the Fundamentals—and maybe an “extra”
I’ve learned a lot in studying, practicing, and promoting self-care. And, I continually re-learn. 😊 During intense last weeks of election season, I neglected a basic self-care lesson: Focus on the fundamentals of rest, movement, nutrition, and connection. I usually track my self-care commitments. But, during this hectic season, I didn’t track and I got out-of-whack! After the election, I went for delayed medical appointments, and my blood pressure was elevated.
Getting back on track, I’m reminding myself to prioritize fundamentals, including a sleep/rest schedule. During election season, we ate out more—thus, more salt and additives. I’m being more mindful in my eating. Partly because of regularly canvassing, my walking was solid; however, my yoga was sporadic. In my canvassing, I intentionally connected with nature and met lots of strangers. (Studies show that’s good self-care.) My partner and I continued to prioritize time with Grands but neglected some other central connections. Also, I had less solitary time to read, write, and reflect. In these THNGVB days, instead of getting even more off track, I’m recommitting myself.
My doctor suggested I monitor my blood pressure as I get on track with self-care. However, with my genetic predisposition, I don’t know if there’s enough meditation to avoid medication.😊 In THNGVB times, we all need “extra” self-care help. Medication may be mine. What’s yours?
Allow the Full Range of Grief and Gratitude, Anger and Joy—and Choose Hope
Grief is a neglected aspect of self-care. Intentionally attending to grief in the significant loss of this election—and ongoing, compounding losses—is key for me. Gratitude, the counterpart of grief, is an essential aspect of self-care and part of political activism. During this time, I’ll be even more intentional in contacting politicians, activists, and community contributors to express appreciation. Also, in self-care connection and boundaries, I’ll review my social media contacts, thank those I appreciate, and delete some. (I’ll continue that in “real life,” too.)
A meme is circulating about not speaking in anger during these times. That’s BS! If I waited until I’m no longer angry, I’d have to take a vow of silence…which is just what oppressive forces want. Self-care engages a powerful alchemy of rage and joy. Especially in THVBNG times, I’m relentlessly claiming my anger and cultivating my joy and choosing HOPE.
(Re)Engage
In showing up for hope, I’m going to fully (re)engage in political activism. Whilst investing nationally and globally, I’m primarily focusing on local and state efforts—which, systemically, impact larger arenas. Meanwhile, I’m paying attention but limiting my newsfeed. And, I’m celebrating the process and gains from our previous work, not just “end” results.
As Alexander’s mom observed in the THNGVB story, “Some days are like that.” My wise partner, Larry, says, “We don’t get to choose the era we live in. But, as best we can, let’s choose how we live the days.” With my self-care plan reinforced, I’m still devastated, enraged, and disgusted; but, I’m also better prepared for THNGVB days. Remember, it’s not our responsibility to finish the work, but neither are we free to abandon it. Let’s join hands, hearts, and hope to go forward—undaunted.
Peace, Love, & Self-Care
Erlene
Erlene Grise-Owens, EdD, LCSW, MSW, MRE, is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!