by Mindy Eaves, DSW, CSW
I hope sharing my story encourages others in their self-care process.
Self-Care Clarified
I applaud growing attention to self-care amongst the masses. Self-care events and affirmations frequent social media and interest pages. In the award-winning show Insecure, Issa Rae’s character implemented self-care Sundays for emotional, physical, and social self-care. #Girltrek connects Black women globally with the collective goal to increase physical activity through walking and Black history knowledge. The downside to mainstream popularity of self-care is that it’s too often commodified, oversimplified, and generalized.
Contrary to popular conceptualizations, self-care is not a mask to be worn when the plane crashes or a bomb shelter for refuge after your life implodes. Instead, self-care is a preventative, integrated lifestyle. Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s individualized. Self-care isn’t superficial; it’s deeply restorative and, ultimately, liberating. As such, self-care is an ethically imperative practice skill and essential personal commitment.
My Self-Care Story
I’ve been a social worker for years, beginning in child welfare. Currently, as a Black woman in social work education who recently entered an administrative role, self-care is my sword and shield. In academia, particularly, Black women must do more than simply survive. Audre Lorde proclaimed, “Caring for yourself is a way to sustain in a world that is hostile to your identity and community.” In complex ways, academia is “hostile” to the Black woman identity and community. Self-care is essential. From growing my spirituality to negotiating a contract, the reflective narratives in Women of Color as Social Work Educators provides instructive self-care lessons of strength and survival. We must thrive, for our own sakes, and to address the underrepresentation of Black women at all levels of social work education.
Black women social work educators navigate the crossroads of intersectionality, with myriad identity complexities and contradictions. Simultaneously, as Black social workers, we’re members of a marginalized group marred by systemic disparity and inequity. Individually and collectively, many of us have experienced trauma and abuse. The recent confluence of COVID-19 pandemic, racial justice reckoning, and other cultural crises puts even more pressures on us.
Yet, countless stories of great triumph and hope provide inspiration: Amanda Gorman, U.S. poet laureate, belting out her poetry eloquently, while channeling the literary inspiration of Toni Morrison; Kamala Harris, U.S. first Black woman Vice-President, taking the oath of office draped in Shirley Chisholm-inspired plum; Beyonce’s epic film “Black is King” reminding Black folk of our ancestral roots and responsibility.
Begin Again…
My personal story, too, is one of trials and triumphs. Recently, after experiencing deep loss and the isolating grief that followed, I found myself ready to begin again. Except this beginning was deeply grounded in knowing that self-care is being fully human and is integral to my liberation and peace.
In the spirit of being fully human, I confronted internalization of damaging personas and oppressive messages that depleted my energy, dulled my spirit, and, ultimately, deprived me of human fullness. I became reacquainted with myself and developed a more wholistic, authentic view of Black womanhood in the aspects of pleasure, pain, vulnerability, self-actualization, grief, and joy. Instead of succumbing to damaging narratives and expectations, I acknowledge I cannot be everything to everyone. For years, I ran myself ragged helping everyone at the expense of doing harm to myself. Now, with healthier boundaries, I have more time for cycling the Louisville Loop, sowing my perennial garden that soothes my soul, and expanding my mind. Admittedly, I found that not all relationships and situations will survive this process. Initially, this transition was an adjustment, but I’ve recalibrated to find myself living my best life.
In ever-deepening ways, self-care is liberatory. Through self-care, solitude transformed into deeper connection to myself, nature, and womankind. Through self-care, I found spiritual connections with my Black sistren. Through self-care, I set boundaries and repurposed time for creativity and scholarship. Through self-care, I discovered the courage and contributions of Black feminists and intellectuals. Through self-care, I gave myself permission to show up in the academy, challenging the status quo, bringing, in Brittney Cooper’s (2000) words, “my whole ratchet, working class, outwardly polished, inwardly jagged, crying, loving, turnt-up” self.
Again and again, I re-learn: Self-care is the liberatory sociopolitical act of being fully human.
Mindy Eaves
Dr. Mindy Eaves
Dr. Mindy Eaves, DSW, CSW, is Chair of the School of Social Work at Kentucky State University, Kentucky’s only public HBCU, a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc., Advisory Board Member of Continued, consultant for the Wellness Group ETC, and co-editor of The A to Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and other Helping Professionals. With more than 17 years of experience, Dr. Eaves’ passion is equity, teaching, and sustainability of social workers with specific attention to disparity, blackness, identity, cultural inclusivity, and practicing radical self-care as a guiding principle.