by Jalana S. Harris, PhD, LCSW-R
Jalana Harris
Dr. Jalana S. Harris
Self-care is a term de jour, but what does it really mean? It's frequently conceptualized as taking care of one’s emotional, physical, and mental health. While a more wholistic approach is growing, self-care is still frequently operationalized simplistically, as bubble baths, nature walks, and other such activities. Self-care is popularly framed as personal.
However, in important ways, it is political, too. As such, self-care requires radical transformation with respect to our socialization.
Self-Care and Liberation
For those who are members of marginalized groups, self-care is wrapped up in our liberation. The early stages of liberation require conscientization, an active awakening resulting from questioning the status quo. This process of decolonizing our minds includes examining who loses when we practice self-care. It requires recognizing who’s served by our consistent prioritization of other’s needs over our own, and how and why this dynamic is perpetuated. This process can be complicated when acts of self-denial and extreme self-reliance by marginalized groups are socially rewarded.
The U.S. values of rugged individualism and the Protestant work ethic reward us for ignoring our self-care instincts. The myth of meritocracy suggests that this is the key to success. As a result, sleepless nights, endless cups of coffee, and general self-abnegation are seen as reasonable steps toward becoming a respectable and successful human being.
This fallacy has a damaging impact on all of us, but particularly on those of us who hold marginalized and subjugated identities. Engaging in this cycle of abuse seems most necessary for those who are already deemed subhuman and less worthy, based on the identities held. Seemingly, the only way to attain success in this framing is through maintaining the status quo and being complicit in one’s own oppression, while believing that if you aren’t successful it’s your fault. This framing of the keys to success ignores the experiences of those who live at the intersection of multiple marginalized identities. It ignores the systematic and systemic oppression that contributes to the marginalization and powerlessness of these individuals. These truths are ignored in favor of a narrative that feeds oppression, capitalism, and patriarchy and reframes trauma responses as cultural grit and resiliency. This narrative shames those who engage in activities that support self-preservation.
Decolonized, Radical Self-Care
So, what does self-care really mean? More specifically, what does it mean for those with multiple subjugated identities? It means engaging in decolonized and radical self-care. It means interrogating our deeply engrained patterns and beliefs. It means challenging respectability politics and our role in systems that perpetuate capitalism and materialism. It means understanding how double-consciousness (required for survival) operates to make us hypersensitive to the thoughts and desires of others.
Decolonized radical self-care means unpacking our personal, generational, and historical trauma and the ways our people have survived by seeking proximity to a mythical norm reflective of cultural imperialism and patriarchy. Radical self-care requires a process of redefining one’s goals, one’s values, and, ultimately, one’s self for oneself. It means disrupting the cycle of socialization. It involves knowing what’s truly in our best interest and not what we've been socialized to believe is in our best interest—but is actually the oppressors’ best interest.
New Visions of Self-Care
Through this revealing and unpacking, self-care can then be operationalized in a liberatory fashion based on one’s unique social location. What does liberatory self-care look like? It may look like saying “no” more often or “yes” more often. It may look like being less neurotic about how we wear our hair or clothes. It may look like confronting stereotype threat and engaging in behaviors that may result in being labeled an “angry black woman.” It requires intentional interrogation of cultural scripts, such as the “strong black woman.” It may look like doing what really scares us: being our most authentic selves in a world that, if it even sees us, views us as distasteful and unpalatable. It may look like being more connected to our indigenous selves.
Self-care is especially risky for some of us. Knowing that our liberation isn’t found in adjusting to an unjust society, we recognize self-care can’t be realized just through bubble baths. Self-care, fully realized, comes through radical and political liberatory action.
Dr. Jalana Harris is a Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Life Coach, and consultant based in New York city. She is a full-time lecturer at Columbia University’s School of Social Work and operates a private practice in NYC, providing therapy and coaching to individuals, couples, and families.