VITAL TOPICS: SOCIAL WORK & FILM
by SaraKay Smullens, MSW, LCSW, DCSW, CGP, CFLE, BCD
“I want people to devour my books in one sitting because the storyline and dialogue are too gripping to put down. I don’t try to write heavy books that educate, inform, and impress. My only goal is to entertain, and hopefully that’s what I’m doing.” Colleen Hoover
What follows is a review of the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s novel, It Ends With Us, which addresses domestic violence. It is not a review of the book the film is based on, which I have not read. Hoover has fully endorsed all aspects of the film, describing herself as “extremely happy“ with its completion, and á la Hitchcock, is seen in a fleeting scene.
After an introduction to Hoover, a remarkable social media genius with a strong presence on BookTok, I will discuss the film in detail. Its positives—all discussion of domestic violence leading to societal and personal awareness is meaningful. Plus, the acting and set/costume design of the film, even when in contradiction to the character portrayed, provides a gifted ensemble and A-plus entertainment/diversion until, as the drama unfolds, discomfort sets in. The film’s dangers—it presents an over-simplification of the complex topic of domestic (or intimate partner) violence, where the circumstances of the woman abused and her path to peaceful resolve offered in the film are pure fantasy.
Colleen Hoover has seen domestic violence up close. Her earliest memory is being awakened at age two by screaming as she witnessed her dad throwing a television set at her mom, who subsequently divorced him. Hoover’s followers are aware of her respect for, devotion to, and cherishment of her mom, echoed by their matching heart shaped tattoos inside their wrists.
Colleen Hoover got her start through self-publishing while living in a (long gone) trailer with her husband, her high school sweetheart, a long-distance trucker on the road much of every month, and their three young sons, bought by a loan (long ago repaid) from her stepfather. Hoover refused to acquiesce to the well-established limited brand that has defined her Young Adult market. In its place, she established the inclusive Colleen Hoover Brand for romance, psychological thrillers, a ghost story, and characters who endure homelessness and helplessness, each book brimming with enormously satisfying sex, intense drama, surprise twists and turns, and a promised happy ending.
An adored cult figure to millions of readers worldwide, who call themselves CoHorts, Hoover’s has been a singular achievement. She holds book contracts with several publishing houses and often retains e-book rights. She authored eight of the 25 best-selling 2022 U.S. print titles. The following year, It Ends With Us and its sequel, It Starts With Us, became blockbuster titles, selling more books than the Bible. For the reigning Queen of best seller lists, the period of August 4 through August 10 marked week 133 that It Ends With Us held the New York Times coveted Number 1 slot for print and e-book fiction.
What most do not know is that Colleen Hoover is also a social worker. She received a BA in social work from Texas A & M-Commerce, whose stated mission is to educate professionals to “lead, innovate, and transform,” and subsequently spent years learning and absorbing in various community and social work settings, including a child’s advocacy center, a home heath hospice, and finally a state agency center offering nutrition counseling. Surely, her course work; her committed, invested professors and supervisors; and her on-the-job experience, coupled with both tragedy and grit familiar in her formative years, contributed to Hoover’s abilities to flesh out characters determined to overcome obstacles, leaving readers breathlessly turning pages.
Please note: To concentrate on the film itself, SPOILERS will follow.
On the plus side, It Ends With Us opens the door to frank examination of domestic abuse, which can open one’s eyes to the epidemic of physical, sexual, and emotional violation. Further, the film presents an accurate picture of an abuser’s skilled use of charm bombardment, referred to as “love bombing,” as well as the “honeymoon periods” following each violent episode, when a woman is usually empathetic and nurturing to an abusive partner, who through excuses and empty promises, has perfected an entrenched baby-bully façade to cover a violent nature. It also documents the unraveling of a doomed relationship and reveals how past life events can morph into this threatening dance.
My main concern about the film is that it presents an inaccurate depiction of the real lives of those abused, and modeling its resolve can be both dangerous and life threatening. Plus, its guide to resources does not appear until after the credits, when many have left the theater.
This said, it is important to remember that Colleen Hoover’s openly stated goal is an entertaining read leading to a happily-ever-after resolve, which screen writer Christy Hall provides. Keeping with Hoover’s vision, Hall offers an integration of Cinderella and The Wizard of Oz, with the film Gaslight thrown in, offering a Joseph Cotton Rescuer, Atlas Corrigan (played by Brandon Sklenar). The film’s central character, Lily Blossom Bloom (played by Blake Lively), a marvel with plants and flowers, has grown up watching her dad, Mayor of their town, beat his wife mercilessly, abuse that extends to her as her mom lives in denial. Predictably, Lily falls in love with another abuser, neurosurgeon Ryle Kincaid (played by Justin Baldoni, also the film’s director). Lily’s spunky Fairy Godmother, Allysa (Jenny Slate), married to a wealthy man she loves (Allysa also happens to be Ryle’s sister), comes to Lily’s rescue, joining her to create “Lily’s Blooms,” the Victorian flower shop that is her dream come true. Following a horrific attempted rape, Allysa steadfastly remains at Lily’s side. In this most unusual choice, rare in the real world, blood is in no way thicker than water.
Hall translates Hoover’s novel with titillating sexual foreplay and expression and financially secure lovers. In strong contrast to the common experiences of domestic violence survivors, domestic violence professionals, and social workers, Lily is blessed with financial security and a rock-solid support system, which includes her first love, who remains devoted to her. Intimate violence is resolved amicably after one conversation with her abuser. Subsequent moving forward is devoid of depression, economic deprivation, homelessness, fear for safety, stalking, harassment, violence, restraining orders, relentless PTSD, and endless custody cases. Plus, terror about “the next time” is non-existent.
A primary difficulty with It Ends With Us is that it is at odds with itself: Is the film a serious examination of domestic violence in which, during their lifetimes, 1 in 3 women, about 736 million, endure physical or sexual violence, a large proportion killed, as are their children trying to protect them? Or is it a romantic thriller in which violence is compartmentalized, and focus is on a beautiful, fashionable, strong creative woman coming into her own?
This confusion has been intensified by examples of online promotional material that presents the film in a lighthearted way. Survivors have been unsettled about a lack of trigger warnings about physical and sexual violence, including the trauma of sexual assault and a rape attempt, with no indicated resources offered. This lapse has been exacerbated by Blake Lively’s press tour where, in addition to promoting her hair and drink products, on noted occasions she has not appeared in touch with the seriousness of domestic violence, stating during a BBC interview that while Lily is a survivor and a victim, “These are not her identity.” One domestic violence survivor shared in an interview that she entered the theater expecting a romantic comedy after hearing Lively’s pitch, “Grab your florals, grab your friends.”
Coverage and quotes from principals in the film indicate that discord reigned on the set. And continues. Various reasons have been disclosed, some denied; but careful reading indicates that in interviews, director Justin Baldoni stressed the film’s emphasis on understanding the life-threatening escalation of domestic violence and the importance of leaving an abuser, while through her statements, Lively views Lily’s abuse as a compartmentalized backburner issue, depicting her as a brave, highly fashionable, creative force central in a romantic thriller, in which viewers root for her escape.
This leaves viewers with both questions and contradiction. Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse overwhelm all aspects of a woman’s life and can only be compartmentalized for brief periods, such as when, desperate for financial survival, a woman wills herself to work. This reality begs the questions: Does Blake Lively understand the woman she portrays? Is she forcing Lily to be someone she is not ready to be? Further, is Blake Lively portraying Lily, or is she showcasing herself? I wish Lively, a beautiful, gifted actor—surely without need to gild her Lily—could have emphasized substance and shown the horrific struggle made by a violated, terrified woman to will herself out of bed, wash her face, brush her teeth, dress in anything she can find to somehow, someway face her day.
Plus, Hoover has described It Ends With Us as the hardest book she has ever written. Shifting from her focus on pure entertainment, she has said that the intent of this book has been to advocate for domestic violence victims. I wish she had insisted on a film script that emphasized informing and educating by stating the film’s focus and intent before the film began and noting how many women and children die yearly as a result of intimate partner violence, offering available resources before the credits. I wish she had supported a script showing how, for myriad reasons, first attempts to leave a batterer are unsuccessful, and calling attention to the necessity to carefully plan an exit to a safe harbor. I wish she had pointed out that a woman must never, with a child in her arms or even present, tell an abuser that she is leaving him and pointed to the dangers of co-parenting with a batterer who has unsupervised visits with a child. With regularity, these oversights lead to death of mother and child.
I wish Colleen Hoover had done this because she is not only a writer. She is a social worker.
SaraKay Smullens' (MSW, LCSW, BCD) best selling book Burnout and Self-Care in Social Work, Edition 2 (NASW Press, 2021) grew from her researched award winning article in The New Social Worker, “What I Wish I Had Known.” SaraKay has worked with women enduring domestic violence for more than 30 years, which led to her identification of invisible cycles of emotional abuse, always part of sexual and physical violence, but deserving their own codification. In 1995, with the support of the Philadelphia District Attorney’s office, she initiated the Sabbath of Domestic Peace Coalition, a diverse, multicultural bonding of religious leaders, the domestic violence community, social workers, physicians, attorneys, volunteers, and law enforcement officials who identified clergy as "a missing link" in addressing the complexities of the virulent epidemic of domestic violence, which prayer alone could not solve. The Coalition held trainings for clergy and parishioners throughout Philadelphia and surrounding areas. Its yearly non-denominational prayer service was attended by hundreds. After several years, the SDP Coalition was able to disband as individual faith communities and houses of worship incorporated their mission.