by SaraKay Smullens, MSW, LCSW, DCSW, CGP, CFLE, BCD
I did not expect A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood to teach more about Fred Rogers (played to perfection by his sixth cousin Tom Hanks). The acclaimed 2018 documentary Won’t You Be My Neighbor? surely made a biopic superfluous. I looked forward to a film whose focus was forgiveness in the face of red-hot anger, and was excited about the film’s vehicle for addressing this challenge -- the rage and cynicism of magazine writer Tom Junod (brilliantly played by Matthew Rhys).
I should have recognized my shortsightedness about any film brought to life by Marielle Heller (The Diary of a Teenage Girl and Can You Ever Forgive Me?). As she celebrates the uniqueness and complexity of her characters (just as Rogers celebrates the uniqueness and complexity of each child), Heller consistently reveals what seemed invisible, leading viewers to address painful conflicts through unpredictable avenues, unexpected insights, and complex connections, and through this process learn more about ourselves. This is surely true in her portrait of Fred Rogers.
In the following framing of this extraordinary film, you will find no plot spoilers.
In 1998, Tom Junod (aka Lloyd Vogel in the movie's fictionalized account) was assigned by Esquire to write about Fred Rogers for a special issue on American heroes, an assignment he dreaded. However, as a result of Rogers’ tireless pursuit of the relationship, an intense, devoted friendship developed. Though not an accurate depiction of personality conflicts in Junod’s life, the film truthfully portrays the transformation Fred Rogers brought to the lives of Junod, his wife, and his family.
In Neighborhood, Fred Rogers, an accomplished pianist and ordained minister, as well as an extraordinary artist and writer, shows himself also to be a gifted “natural social worker.” Just as we are keenly aware of the privilege to be invited into the lives of others, as well as the responsibility of this trust, it is apparent that Fred Rogers viewed the distance between the camera and the homes he entered as hallowed ground. Like social workers, he knew that we will never discover a gene for kindness, compassion, and authenticity; and like social workers, he knew that a child’s potential and future depends largely on how the child is treated and opportunities offered in formative years.
But the film also hints at personal, intimate frustrations. An exceedingly private man who willed himself to speak and act with acceptance, love, mercy, and compassion toward all, Rogers’ entire day was carefully orchestrated around demanding, exhausting activity. He swam with regularity and played (sometimes pounded) the piano to express frustration. A loyal and devoted partnership existed between him and his wife Joanne; yet his own inner world and longings remained private.
Social workers can surely identify with demanding, exhausting activity, but the life of Fred Rogers asks us to examine what motivates relentless, self-less action. Do we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion without necessary self-care because there are parts of us that frighten us – an inner voice we fear hearing and examining, and perhaps responding to? Both on camera and off, the passion of Mr. Rogers, his calling, was to live in a way he believed reflected his ministry – to offer constant care, counsel, and hope to others, and to not indulge voices within himself that could threaten this well guarded equilibrium. His genuine care and concern was surely not limited to children.
Among millions, I was lucky as Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood began to air nationally in 1968. This was the year my first child was born and the year that her father began to lose interest in me as a woman. My former husband insisted that both counseling and divorce were out of the question. My father saw marital discord as a woman’s unforgivable personal failure and divorce as family disgrace. I remember so clearly cradling my first born and waiting each day for Mr. Rogers to enter our home and ease the shame, loneliness, sense of failure – and fear – that consumed me.
My/our dearly welcomed visitor never forgot how children really feel – how lost and lonely they/we often are; and he well understood that adults bring unresolved childhood pain to the present. Toward this end, he created the neighborhood he did not find as a child, to offer others (and himself) the capacity to internalize and gain strength from what the child within longed for. His carefully molded neighborhood (personally and professionally) was devoted to filling in frightening gaps with insight, love, and respect.
Again and again, the question is asked: What would Mr. Rogers do today? Neighborhood tells us that he would remind us that those who disregard, disrespect, and are contemptuous toward others were once children who suffered greatly. He would point to our era of increased lack of connection and isolation and implore us to seek out suffering, frightened children and welcome them to our neighborhood.
A “natural social worker,” Fred Rogers is an exquisite model for many of the skills and characteristics that are essential in social work – empathy, genuineness, active listening (with kindness, never judgment), and true appreciation for the music of hopes and dreams, as well as disappointments and pain that underlie words spoken by each of us. His is also a life that implores us to protect our strength and value and learn from the meaning and truths of our longings.
SaraKay Smullens, MSW, LCSW, DCSW, CGP, CFLE, BCD, whose private and pro bono clinical social work practice is in Philadelphia, is a certified group psychotherapist and family life educator. She is a recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award (2004) and the Social Worker of the Year (2018) from the Pennsylvania chapter of NASW, and the 2013 NASW Media Award for Best Article. In 2018, she was one of five graduates of the University of Pennsylvania School of Social Policy and Practice selected for the school's inaugural Hall of Fame. SaraKay is the author of Whoever Said Life Is Fair, Setting YourSelf Free, and Burnout and Self-Care in Social Work. Her writing has been published in peer-reviewed journals, newspapers, and blogs. SaraKay's professional life continues to be devoted to highlighting destructive societal forces through communication, advocacy and activism. Read more about her work at SaraKaySmullens.com.