by Addison Cooper, LCSW
Movies often offer insight into (or, at least, depictions of) family dynamics. In this issue, Social Work Goes to the Movies takes a look at three recent films that social workers can use to illustrate, reflect on, and discuss the different ways in which families interact.
Mully was in theaters as a two-night-only presentation through Fathom events, and it’s now available through Amazon. Charles Mulli was born into poverty in Kenya. After being abandoned by his family, he survived by begging and stealing. Inspired while visiting a church, and through hard work and perseverance, Charles became a leading business figure in Kenya. He married and had several children, and his family enjoyed a comfortable life. Then, after he was confronted by some youth on the streets, he became convinced of his own responsibility as a prosperous person to do something about the needs of others in his country who were still trapped in poverty.
The Mulli household transitioned from a family home into a group home of sorts, and the Mulli family moved to a large plot of land to provide a home and a safe family to hundreds of children who had been living on the streets. Charles’ children initially struggled with his devotion to the children of his community, but eventually embraced his work.
As you watch Mully, consider the impact that you can have in your community. What needs do you see that you can work toward meeting? How can you incorporate your family or friends into your personal mission?
Coco
Coco is the latest Pixar film, and in it, Miguel seeks identity and guidance from his family history. Part of Miguel’s family history has been hidden from him. He finds that he has talents and ambitions for which he cannot identify a source or an outlet. In seeking out the truth about his family, Miguel finds a way to fully embrace his own talents, and ultimately, to help his family find healing for a long-borne wound. Coco highlights the fact that people are not solitary; we live in community, and to some extent, in the context of family.
In Coco, Miguel wonders about aspects of his identity that are hidden from him by his well-meaning, injured family. My primary writing work takes place on AdoptionAtTheMovies.com. One of my main goals is to convince families touched by adoption to move away from secrecy and shame into a place of open communication. Coco captures that very well, and from my point of view, is one of the most relevant films for an adoption audience, even though it isn’t about adoption!
As you watch Coco, think about the painful moments in your clients’ family histories, and in your own, and consider what it would take to bring healing to those memories. Also, how has your family shaped you into the person and professional helper that you are? How has secrecy—even well-meaning secrecy—hurt you?
Daddy’s Home 2 highlights the complicated relationships and complex feelings that can exist in blended families. Dusty and Brad have worked to successfully become “co-dads” after Brad marries Sara and becomes stepfather to Dusty’s two children, Dylan and Megan. Brad has demonstrated a compassionate approach to parenting that Dusty has come to accept and respect, and Dusty has accepted Brad as part of his family. Now, Brad and Sara are parents to Griffy, and Dusty has married Karen, and in doing so has become stepfather to Adrianna.
When Megan expresses that she hates having to have two different Christmases, Dusty and Brad agree to have one big celebration together as a family. It gets even bigger when Brad’s father Don and Dusty’s often-absent, tough father Kurt both join the festivities.
Kurt can’t believe that Dusty and Brad actually are willing to successfully share parenting duties, and he appears to try to drive a wedge between them. Adrianna’s musclebound father brings an element of dangerous unpredictability when he shows up.
In spite of secretly harbored hurt feelings, which do ultimately surface, Brad and Dusty are able to affirm that they both love the children they are parenting, and that because of the children, they have become family to each other.
This film shows that a family can love each other, in spite of hurt feelings. Which of your clients might be helped by seeing aspects of their own relationships reflected in a humorous, but generally positive and hopeful, light?
Addison Cooper, LCSW, is the founder of Adoption at the Movies (http://www.AdoptionAtTheMovies.com). His book, Adoption at the Movies, is available at Amazon. Find Addison at: http://facebook.com/AdoptionAtTheMovies