Toxic Masculinity Is a Macro Social Work Issue

Man Box

by Relando Thompkins-Jones, MSW, LLMSW

This article is based on conversation and materials shared during the #MacroSW Twitter chat on September 15, 2016, on toxic masculinity. You can visit the archives at: https://storify.com/karenzgoda/toxic-masculinity-is-a-macro-social-work-issue-mac. #MacroSW Twitter chats are held every Thursday night at 9 p.m. Eastern. For more information, check out https://macrosw.com. The New Social Worker is a #MacroSW media partner.

The term “toxic masculinity” can be used to describe a set of very narrow standards, behaviors, and expectations for manhood and masculinity that values dominance, power, and control and devalues empathy, the acknowledgment of emotions, and other traits that fit outside of this narrow definition.

The “man box” is a concept that is helpful to describe some of the narrow behaviors that men are “supposed” to exhibit to be considered a man. Showing behaviors or possessing traits that are outside of the man box is considered a punishable offense under a toxic masculinity framework, because doing so would mean being less than a man. Sample traits or behaviors that are inside the man box include:

never crying or expressing emotion
viewing women as property and objects for men’s pleasure
using sexual conquest to establish dominance and status, and
using violence and aggression to demonstrate dominance over women and other men, and more.

From gender-based street harassment through the use of catcalls, to sexual harassment, assault, and other forms of violence, toxic masculinity is also seen in the sense of entitlement that some men have around access to women’s bodies, time, space, and submission. From single killings to mass shootings, women have died and continue to die because the sense of masculinity of some man was so fragile that he couldn’t possibly grasp the reality that the person, read as “object” of his desire in that moment, didn’t respond, submit, obey, or comply with his demands for access. I wrote in my note, On Toxic Masculinity and Violence (see https://notesfromanaspiringhumanitarian.com/on-toxic-masculinity-and-violence/):

The sense of entitlement that accompanies toxic masculinity is often maintained through violence, or the threat of violence. You don’t need to watch a TV show to know that it is also a key underlying issue in much of the violence, including gun violence that has been taking place around the country.

How many mass shootings have we had this year by white males angry because they were rejected from women; angry because their immediate demand for time, attention, and ultimately access to women’s bodies was denied?

“Nice guys” who feel they are owed something for being decent human beings are also implicated in taking ownership in their participation in toxic masculinity, particularly when considering the tantrums that happen in some men when being “nice” is a tool of manipulation—a means to an end, or a “gift with conditions.”

All men are implicated in this, including myself, as we either actively or passively perpetuate this behavior when we’re not challenging it. Every joke, every meme, every action uninterrupted allows this. Every “not all men” invalidates the reality of survivors, dismissing our complicity and responsibility.

In addition to the devaluing of women, patriarchy—the same system and set of rules that teach us that it’s not okay to cry when we are sad or upset, and that teach men that displaying any sort of emotion outside of aggression and anger is a sign of weakness—is also inherently homophobic and transphobic.

Cisgender women and people in the LGBTQIA+ community are devalued and dehumanized day in and day out because of patriarchy, and the tools used to perpetuate it—such as sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and toxic masculinity. But there is also a loss, albeit in a different way, on the part of the perpetrators who in perpetrating inhumane treatment, lose very important aspects of themselves and their full humanity. The documentary The Mask You Live In does a good job at exposing some of the challenges of toxic masculinity, including how the man box and the pressures around what is commonly taught about what it means to be a man can create a personal prison for boys and men.

Whether you work with sexual assault survivors, survivors or perpetrators of domestic violence, with people in the LGBTQIA+ community, with gun violence, gang violence, with the criminal justice system, working to reduce health disparities, or more, social workers are affected by toxic masculinity in a variety of ways.

Social workers can interrupt toxic masculinity on a variety of levels, depending on their area in the field. In individual or group work, social workers can work with men to explore concepts like the Cycle of Socialization to really investigate and challenge the roots of where toxic behaviors and expectations of masculinity come from, and work with them to challenge and interrupt those messages that contribute to self-destructive behaviors or harm to others.

The criminal justice system also can reinforce toxic masculinity from police officers, to prosecutors, and even judges. Social workers can work with communities to organize and leverage power and resources, not only to surface how toxic masculinity is playing a role in those systems, but to sanction and advocate for the replacement of those figures who are using their power and authority in harmful ways. Social workers can also work with others to advocate against gender-specific items and toys that reinforce toxic masculinity and other forms of patriarchy through gender stereotypes.

No matter what your current area of focus is as a social worker, there is something you can do to challenge toxic masculinity. Everyone has a role, but the impacts of toxic masculinity are not distributed equally, nor should the labor be to interrupt it. It is imperative for cisgender, heterosexual men in the profession to make a serious commitment to do their own work to increase their awareness of how they contribute to reinforcing toxic masculinity and other forms of patriarchy, and then act to interrupt it in ways that don’t place undue burden on the hardest hit.

Additional Reading

Videos

Autofill: A Gender Study: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SvePcldZgY&rel=0

The Mask of Masculinity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umKKrbmdHFM&rel=0

Be a Man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVI1Xutc_Ws&rel=0

The Ladder of Manhood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH4PDQ2-qcE&rel=0

Kicked Out: LGBT Youth Experience Homelessness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUhqodigPFk&rel=0

Relando Thompkins-Jones, MSW, LLMSW, is a social justice educator who works with individuals, groups, and organizations to build more equitable and inclusive communities. His writings on inclusion, equity, and social justice can be found at Notes from an Aspiring Humanitarian (https://notesfromanaspiringhumanitarian.com/).

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I think addressing it and men though in a way that doesn't acknowledge men as social victims subjects to cause and effect of social sanctions gets us nowhere. Some of the most bitter misogynistic men if you really listen are the most hurt and upset by feminist issues that affect them with no framework or meaningful way to address these realities. Women for the most part are pretty oblivious to the social realities of men and often enforce these systems that in essence create this toxic masculinity as a side effect. It kills me to see yet another article broaching the issue of effect neglecting the cause. Its coping with double roles and double standards, with the much social progress brought on through feminism men still are commonly expected to to be responsible and hold the role of care taker of the family because women were denied the role. Women may be judged by their attractiveness, but a mans measure is by that and by assets. Its socially normal to weigh a man by the stuff he can provide his status or situational advantage before hes even seen as a person. This evil patriarchy narrative puts pressure and hurts men the most who barley cope, every time Iv seen it broached in a meaningful way women are often the harshest enforcers of the "Real Man" archetype and expectations. My ex ran away with my son, it was literally criminal I took no action because I understood a lot of what was happening around her, no one raised an eye brow. But if I took her actions I would have been instantly made out to be a monster, while she a possible victim on the privileged on reasonable doubt, because sociality dictates that men are the monsters and women are not. Every guy relates yet women dont realize who on guard we are constantly, women have to prove their competence, but men have to constantly prove their intentions that we are not creeps or the monsters everyone is so ready and willing to see, the ones you ironically reinforce in a way here. My point is that its a cause and effect, people cope and maybe its time to acknowledge the harsh world men live in because doing that will create this change we all need.

Mike Pesmenski more than 7 years ago