Turn Your Negative Self-Talk into an Opportunity for Empowerment

by Dr. Veronica L. Hardy, LCSW

     I enjoy spending time in the classroom with my social work students and tackling challenging discussions. These discussions can range from how to cope with periods of countertransference to balancing social work life and personal life in our own unique ways. Another conversation that often surfaces is that of negative or unhealthy self-talk—in other words, the internal messages we send ourselves when experiencing a sense of inadequacy or low confidence.

     These thoughts generally arise when we must complete tasks such as public speaking, conducting research, facilitating meetings, providing trainings, or engaging with clients at field placement. Those negative thoughts manifest, telling us that we are not good enough to perform the task at hand. As I engage in these discussions with social work students, we take time to process what the messages are, what underlies the messages, and then what action steps to take to counteract the content of the negative self-talk. As a result, we take control of those messages and turn them into an opportunity for professional growth and empowerment-based talk.

Observe and Document Your Negative Self-Talk

     Empowerment can be defined as putting your abilities into action and building your confidence. In other words, negative self-talk can be transitioned into ability and/or growth-based self-talk. What might this look like? Begin by observing and documenting your general negative self-talk messages pertaining to social work practice, classes, or specific tasks. A great way to track a negative message is through making a quick note in your cell phone, writing it in a journal or notebook, or even documenting it in your daily planner. These are all great ways to track negative self-talk messages, such as: I feel like an impostor. I don’t know enough yet to engage in public speaking. I’m not good at this. They are going to laugh at me.

Identify What Influences Your Negative Self-Talk

     Next, determine what is influencing those specific messages. In other words, where are they coming from? For example, was there a previous public speaking experience where you lost your train of thought and it affected your confidence? Were you assigned to conduct a training, but lacked the resources to build it in the way you envisioned? Do you generally feel discomfort in social situations and believe others pick up on your discomfort? There are many influences that may underlie negative self-talk, and it is important to understand the factors that are uniquely yours.

Transition Negative Self-Talk Into Empowerment-Based Talk

     Now that you have tracked the messages and explored the underlying influences, it is time to transition this information into action-oriented, empowerment-based talk. Consider the example of public speaking and the sense of doubt or lack of confidence. The example below highlights the transition from a negative self-talk statement to action-oriented, empowerment-based talk.

  • Negative self-talk statement: I am going to be terrible at public speaking about this topic.
  • Underlying influence: Limited public speaking experience.
  • Action-oriented, empowerment-based talk: To strengthen my knowledge on this topic, I will locate resources I can study prior to the event, such as articles, videos, or books. I will take time to learn more about the audience, the number that will be in attendance, and the specific objectives I should cover. If time allows, I will contact someone who is knowledgeable about the topic and gain their mentorship about key points to cover and what inspires them to speak on this topic. I will learn more about the space I will be presenting in (face-to-face or virtual), the technology tools, and the layout of the room (if face-to-face). I may also create handouts as a further informational resource for attendees. Finally, I will practice my presentation using mock sessions with peers, and obtain their feedback for ways to strengthen.

     As a student or new social work practitioner, negative self-talk may be unexpected or even challenging for you. However, it can be used as a source of information to gain personal insight and promote self-awareness. Through transitioning the unhealthy messages into opportunities for action and growth, your abilities for engaging in a certain task may be strengthened. Take time to be intentional about observing and tracking messages, exploring underlying influences, and defining action steps for growth to be empowered as a new social worker.

Dr. Veronica L. Hardy, LCSW, is a Professor of Social Work at The University of North Carolina at Pembroke. Dr. Hardy is a social justice advocate, professional consultant, author, and mentor to new social workers and junior faculty members. She is the creator of The Social Work Lounge, a mentorship group facilitated via Facebook.