Self Care
by Sheila Bonder-Smith, MSW, LCSW-R
When I was a young social worker many years ago, the word self-care and the idea of taking care of oneself was not something you saw in the social work literature. It wasn't taught in social work graduate school. I felt my mission was to provide care to others, and it did not occur to me that I was included in this important task. It was not until many years later and after becoming a mother and working with adult caregivers did it occur to me how imperative it is to take care of one’s mental and physical health in order to take care of others. As when one is on a plane and the flight attendant says that the parent must put the oxygen mask on themselves first and then on the child - this scenario perfectly captures that idea that we must take care of ourselves to be of help to someone else.
Around the time I had my first child, I was working with older adults in a long-term care setting, and I worked with their caregivers, as well. Becoming a new mom was a huge change in my life, and I saw similar parallels between the difficulty I had taking care of my needs while caring for young children as well as the caregivers who had difficulty meeting their own needs while caring for their loved ones. There was a tendency to put my own needs last, which often left me depleted and exhausted. I met many caregivers who were so busy working and taking care of their loved ones that they did not have time to tend to their own health issues. I witnessed many of them neglecting their own health problems, as I did my own.
I would listen to their concerns, and I did not realize that I also was not taking the time to look after my emotional and physical needs. It was not until a health scare that I started to pay attention to my own health.
I am so glad to see that social work schools have incorporated the idea that self-care is a necessity for a social worker. The work we do can be emotionally taxing, and it is important to pay attention to its effect on our health. I often tell new social work students that I wish I had been more aware of the role of providing to myself and the impact it would have had in my work with others when I was starting out.
I have returned to doing Hatha Yoga and Zumba and paying attention to my stress levels. The breathing techniques in yoga are essential to my emotional health, and I feel that it has made me a more centered and even more patient individual and social worker. I have always enjoyed reading and am an avid reader. It is an escape and a stress reliever for me. I joined a book club, which has exposed me to different authors and topics I would not have chosen on my own. The socialization with friends is a wonderful plus.
Take some time to explore what you need to take care of yourself, whether it is exercise, walking on the beach, getting more sleep, or something else. It is essential that you give the care that you provide to others to yourself, as well. It will enrich your life and enhance the work you do with your clients.
Sheila Bonder-Smith, MSW, LCSW-R, received a bachelor's degree in sociology from State University of New York at Binghamton and a master’s degree in social work from Columbia University. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New York and New Jersey. She works for NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases Diabetic Foot and Ankle Center, where she provides short- and long-term individual and group supportive counseling to patients with diabetes and chronic illness.