by Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE, lead co-editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals
Life Is So Good
Vicarious resilience is a form of self-care. In contrast to vicarious trauma, vicarious resilience refers to the positive impact of hearing how others cope with trauma and difficulties. Life is So Good, the autobiography of Mr. George Dawson, a 103-year-old man who learned to read at the age of 98, offers irresistible inspiration! This blog entry elucidates four of Dawson’s compelling lessons of resilience for self-care inspiration. (My next entry will continue with four more lessons from his rich life.)
Lesson 1. Perspective. "People forget that a picture ain’t made from just one color. Life ain’t all bad or all good. It’s full of everything." (p. 233)
Immediately, in the book, Dawson vividly conveyed the hardships of poverty and the trauma of racism that saturated his existence. The grandson of slaves, Dawson began working in cane fields at the age of 4. At the age of 10, he witnessed the horrific lynching of his 17-year-old childhood hero. Throughout the book, Dawson described the terrible tentacles of structural racism. The straight-forward style does not brush over this stark reality. Likewise, that authentic style paints a full picture of deep personal contentment.
Self-Care: Perspective allows us to broaden the palette.
Lesson 2. Gratitude. “I see it as enough. So it’s just fine.” (p. 238)
Dawson gave the above response when his co-author (Richard Glaubman) asked Dawson whether he saw his cup of hot chocolate as half-full or half-empty. From enjoying simple pleasures in life to emphasizing humanity’s goodness, this “cup of enough” perspective permeates Dawson’s story. Glaubman, who transcribed Dawson’s story, stated, “I had come prepared to record a life of hardship and was not prepared to hear of gratitude.” (p. 252). Dawson’s unrelenting gratitude changed the texture and trajectory of his story.
Gratitude: The self-care ingredient that “re-stories” our lives.
Lesson 3. Attention. “You don’t have to go to school to learn something. Just pay attention.” (p. 204)
In part, because he couldn’t read, Dawson learned to listen and observe intently. In daily life—farming, repairing, fishing, cooking—Dawson demonstrated focus and presence. This mindfulness practice imbued his life with pragmatic wisdom and contentment.
Self-Care: Pay Attention.
Lesson 4. Contribution. “No matter what the work or whatever the pay, I did my best.” (p. 208)
Dawson’s explanation for beginning a life of labor at the age of 4 was “to help the family” (p. 3). No matter how mundane or difficult, he viewed his work as contribution. Consistently, he drew meaning and purpose. As a student in his 90s, Dawson encouraged others. Likewise, he believed he lived a long life in order to “tell the truth,” i.e., his resilient story, embedded in toxic racism.
Self-care involves contribution, meaning, and purpose—which includes mundane tasks and life’s mission.
Whose story inspires you? Seek out stories of resilience, including clients, colleagues, acquaintances, loved ones, and your own. These lessons fuel our motivation for self-care. Life is so good...
Peace, Love, & Self-Care, Erlene
Dr. Erlene Grise-Owens, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, MSW, MRE is a Partner in The Wellness Group, ETC. This LLC provides evaluation, training, and consultation for organizational wellness and practitioner well-being. Dr. Grise-Owens is lead editor of The A-to-Z Self-Care Handbook for Social Workers and Other Helping Professionals. As a former faculty member and graduate program director, she and a small (but mighty!) group of colleagues implemented an initiative to promote self-care as part of the social work education curriculum. Previously, she served in clinical and administrative roles. She has experience with navigating toxicity and dysfunction, up-close and personal! Likewise, as an educator, she saw students enter the field and quickly burn out. As a dedicated social worker, she believes the well-being of practitioners is a matter of social justice and human rights. Thus, she is on a mission to promote self-care and wellness!